the girl

Assalamualaikum

Here am I, in Alexandria , Egypt again.
The feeling?
Most likely happy because I'm bored to death staying at home for about 3 months. Doing nothing. Yes, doing nothing except sleeping, eating and watching tv ~~

But the thing is that, most of my friends and seniors are going to further their remaining studies at Malaysia, including my best friend; Aimi .

I know, that's the best for them and this is the best for me, but you know what? Since the last time I hugged my parents at Kota Bharu Airport on the day I fly until now, I haven't let go my tears yet. Eventho at KLIA there's no one sending me off, and everyone around you are hugging their parents while crying, I just keep smiling. My heart felt like kembang semangkuk sebab tahan nangis. and yes, here am I, the weak girl. Crying alone in the midnight.

It felt like everyone is living. People around me, my support system time futur, all of them, are gone! And of cause, I'm trying my best not to cry in front of them... Because sending them with tears isn't cool enough. 


And I won't tell my parents how these kind of feeling strike my heart. 
Deep in my heart, I want to cry out loud. Telling them how stress the situation here. about the studies, the result and all sort of things. But, because I choose this path, I choose coming to Egypt, so beared with it Aisyah. You have no choice but to keep as secret. Pretend that everything is just fine. Smile while skyping with them although your eyes was full with crystal clear water. Tunggu masa nak jatuh .. ooopps bukan tunggu masa nak jatuh, tapi memang jatuh dalam senyap so that no one noticed those tears. Tragic isn't it? 


And now, I don't even know how I felt. Speechless it is. and This is me, the girl.